The History of The Great Indian Ocean Trade.

(or India got independence on a slightly tipsy Friday night in Google Talk.)
--

Metamutator: all of the great indian ocean trade can be explained in two terms
food and odour

Metlin: oh he uses a lot of other arguments - but he says that at no
point in time has either Europe or Asia had a homogenous culture
:D

Metamutator: make no mistake, the british came to india for good food,
coz as everyone knows, brit food sucks
but ended up staying on in india and exporting opium instead to china

Metlin: LOL!
LOL!

Metamutator: unfortunately, the chinese were too stoned to realise
what was happening, and allowed them to take control over their trade
in scents and such
which was required, coz those folks in rennaisance were just
discovering the pleasures of in-house plumbing

Metlin: :)

Metamutator: in fact, so rare was it, that vasco di gama made it a
point to gift these marvellous inventions, flushable cisterns i mean,
to the king of cochin

Metlin: you sound like Aly
:D

Metamutator: aly?
Metlin: :D
LOL! :D
yeah, a firend
Alyson

Metamutator: ah
this could have gone on for more time, except for two things

Metlin: ?

Metamutator: first, we started speaking their language (instead of
just them speaking ours), and we found out what a huge sham brit food
was
i mean seriously... malligatawny soup? that's simply mullagu-tanni,
albeit scot-ified

Metlin: yeah

Metamutator: the second, was that the americans also got into the
game... they also began to realise the sham that was brit-supplied
food

Metlin: :-D

Metamutator: so they dropped tea off into one of their harbours

Metlin: :P

Metamutator: and for good measure, also dropped unnecessary letters
like 'u' and stuff from words like 'colour' and 'harbour'
that's when we realised that we dont have to identify with bad food
anymore... we can always say no
so mahatma gandhi went on this huge, mega, badass fast
and presto, the rest, as they say, is history

Metlin: :P
:D
to eat desi food?
it's always food
never women? :(

Metamutator: now, the brits also dig curry... in fact, they dig
nothing but curry
so in a sense, they got what they wanted in the first place...

Metlin: :P

Metamutator: took em some time, but what's five hundred years when
we're talking of improving the restaurant scene in downtown london

Metlin: and a shitload of our money
but then again

Metamutator: women... naah, that's only for our internal politics

Metlin: folks keep complaining how folks robbed us
but we have enough and more resources at our disposal, today
:D

Metamutator: thing is, contemporary indian politicians realise this
they know that historically speaking, folks have gotten screwed the
wrong way coz of women
so they've come up with proactive corrective measures
first, they bang their wives a LOT... laloo, for instancee, has nine kids

Metlin: heh
I don't care
screw me anyway
as long as you are a pretty lass
:D

Metamutator: second, they bang a LOT all around... laloo, for
instance, has two additional illegitimate kids

Metlin: making sure only the ugly ones give birth? :P
LOL! :D
heh
you are in a good mood, aren't you?

Metamutator: yeah... jack daniels

Metlin: ahhh

Metamutator: and those who cant, either go into sanyas (uma bharati),
or become fat (jayalalitha)